So much has been happening around here that I haven't had time to update our blog ! Where should I begin? I guess I'll start with the NICU reunion. We did go and had a wonderful time. Several of Hailey's nurses were there and were floored with how much she has grown. It was so nice to see so many healthy, happy children and their families. How rewarding it must be for all of the medical professionals to see that all of their efforts paid off :) .
We also spent the latter part of October preparing for Halloween. This was our first Halloween that we actually got to go trick-or-treating with our daughter. Our dog and child both dressed up for the occasion (ladybug and duck respectively) and got a chance to see the neighbors together. Our daughter loved it ! She came home with a sizable amount of candy-YUM ! Her favorites were the suckers.
Since November has started,I have been very busy as tutoring for the school year has kicked in. I'm busy each and every day ( in addition to being a Mom) and I love it. I think I have finally found the balance between being a working and Stay-at-Home Mom. My job is flexible enough that I still have my afternoons (most days) free to spend with our daughter.
Our daughter is growing so quickly. She is a full-blown toddler now which is hard to believe. She is very close to walking and is climbing on everything that she can find. We have been so blessed to have the ability to parent this child.
We are getting ready for a Thanksgiving celebration with our Virginia family. It will be exciting to celebrate the holidays with our baby girl this year. At least she will understand more of what's happening this year :) .
That's the quick update...when I have time I will write more about my adventures with balancing work and being a Mom. Happy Thanksgiving to all !
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A NICU reunion....
We have just found out that the NICU (where our daughter spent the first two months of her life) is having a reunion ! We are so excited that we will finally be able to properly thank all of the nurses and doctors for the excellent care that they gave our daughter. The reunion is being held for all babies that were born in the hospital and were NICU patients between the years of 1999-2009. It will be interesting to see if any of the parents/babies that we met during our daughter's stay will be there or not. It will also be interesting to see how all of the more mature "preemies" look at nine or ten years old. Sometimes, this feels like a glimpse into our child's future and it is very exciting!
We have not been back to visit since our daughter came home in October of 2008. When we left the NICU, our daughter weighed 5 pounds and 5 ounces and had an apnea monitor attached to her. There were so many emotions that we had leaving that ranged from sadness to sheer terror (how will we ever do this without nurses to help?) to utter joy. The doctors and the nurses became a second family to us. They taught us how to take care of our baby. No question we ever asked was dismissed as a "dumb" one. We learned more about the NICU in two months than we ever imagined we would. The nurses on staff were not only our guardian angels but a our daughter's as well !
The social worker, our adoption agency representative, the child specialist (who first told us about Early Intervention Services...praise be to God) and the case manager for the NICU all played a special role in helping our family deal with what our life may or may not be like as new parents to a "preemie" with some delays. We honestly do not know what we would have done without these fantastic people. I don't even want to think about what it would have been like to coordinate all of our baby's special care on our own !
When we return from the reunion, I am sure that we will have a story or two to share. We hope that you check our blog regularly for the latest updates.
We wish you peace and joy !
We have not been back to visit since our daughter came home in October of 2008. When we left the NICU, our daughter weighed 5 pounds and 5 ounces and had an apnea monitor attached to her. There were so many emotions that we had leaving that ranged from sadness to sheer terror (how will we ever do this without nurses to help?) to utter joy. The doctors and the nurses became a second family to us. They taught us how to take care of our baby. No question we ever asked was dismissed as a "dumb" one. We learned more about the NICU in two months than we ever imagined we would. The nurses on staff were not only our guardian angels but a our daughter's as well !
The social worker, our adoption agency representative, the child specialist (who first told us about Early Intervention Services...praise be to God) and the case manager for the NICU all played a special role in helping our family deal with what our life may or may not be like as new parents to a "preemie" with some delays. We honestly do not know what we would have done without these fantastic people. I don't even want to think about what it would have been like to coordinate all of our baby's special care on our own !
When we return from the reunion, I am sure that we will have a story or two to share. We hope that you check our blog regularly for the latest updates.
We wish you peace and joy !
Monday, September 21, 2009
To work or to be a SAHM? That is the question...
So as I was looking at "The Stay-At-Home Mom's Survival Guide" website, I came across an article that caught my attention. I think the article says it all and more. Enjoy !
It’s okay to not always love being a Stay-at-Home mom
Surely, for some women, being a stay-at-home mother is an entirely magnificent, totally blissful, always fulfilling, happily-ever-after dream come true.
I’m not one of those women—and that’s okay.
I know I’m not alone in having mixed feelings about having left the traditional, paid workforce to be a 24/7 at-home parent to my children. From time to time, most all women doing the job (and stay-at-home motherhood is a job) struggle with the challenges of this kind of in-the-trenches motherhood.
Round-the-clock parenting often has as many downs as ups. The constant demands that come from being the sole adult charged with the care of little minds and bodies (and the surroundings in which they exist) involves a daily routine that many stay-at-home moms need both skill and fortitude to survive. As with any job, we have moments of feeling overwhelmed, overworked, unappreciated, and under-compensated. And all that’s before the 9 am start of the traditional workday.
For a woman who, before motherhood, had a job she enjoyed, experienced career success, lived independently, and had an active social life, setting all that aside for stay-at-home motherhood can be a mixed blessing. It’s wonderful for a mother to be able to devote herself to the full-time care of her family—without the distractions, stresses, and demands of an office or workplace. It’s wonderful for a child to be raised under the constant care of a parent instead of a nanny, sitter, au pair, daycare staff, or afterschool program—or any of the other childcare solutions that parents need to piece together in order to earn an income. In a nation where two incomes are often essential to a family’s well-being, and where single parents need a job in order to pay and keep up with the bills, stay-at-home mothers are often told how lucky they are “not to work.”
I know I’m lucky that my family has been able to live securely for several years with only one steady income, but being a stay-at-home mother is nothing but work! The surprise for many women who spend their days caring for children without end is that they work as many, if not more, hours than they did at a “real” job. The initial relief from the pressures of paid employment are often replaced by the demands of our stay-at-home reality.
But putting aside professional skills and independence to fill sippy cups and push swings can be tough on a woman’s sense of self. And although a stay-at-home mother is never without something to do, the day can drag, and entire weeks can feel empty of adult company or personal fulfillment. Then, in the rare instance you get to mingle among grown-ups without kids clinging to you, someone asks you what you do, and you struggle between saying, “I’m a stay-at-home mom . . .” or “Well, I used to be . . .” or some tortured combination thereof. It can make you want to cry.
My advice. Don’t sugarcoat, sentimentalize, or reduce to slapstick the realities of stay-at-home motherhood.
For those of us who have good days and bad, who sometimes absolutely adore and appreciate being home with our kids and sometimes can’t stand it, parenting books and magazine articles in which the author and interviewees gush about their love of being a mom and surrendering to motherhood just don’t jibe with all the realities. Ditto those who joke about the sleepless nights and messy minivans and days without showering—but, alas, each quip or complaint is couched by an “I wouldn’t change it for the world” sentiment. For the woman whose every mothering moment isn’t a greeting card moment, such rosy pictures can actually be demoralizing: “I don’t like playing peek-a-boo and going to the park every day. I don’t like being at the beck and call of someone else’s moods and needs. Sometimes I don’t want to be around my kids. I must be a terrible mom.”
You’re not a terrible mom. You’re a typical mom.
So hang in there! Even though you may be alone in your house right now with [fill in the applicable number] child(ren) crying, hanging on you, and demanding your immediate attention, you are not alone. Even though you may feel you’re flying a solo mission, you aren’t, especially when it comes to your conflicted feelings:
10 am: “I’m so happy I’m home!”
11 am: “What was I thinking?
Noon: “Being a stay-at-home mother is [fill in an adjective here]!”
It’s okay to not always love being a stay-at-home mom. Women often fear that admitting as much is tantamount to saying to the world and themselves that we regret not being part of the paid workforce.
The reality is, sometimes, some of us do regret leaving careers, or wish for something more. That’s normal. That’s healthy. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our children. It doesn’t mean we’d make a different choice if we had a do-over. It definitely doesn’t mean we’re bad mothers, or that we’re not doing a good job. Some days at work are wonderful. Some days are nightmares. Few people love their job every minute of the day. The same goes for the job of being a stay-at-home mom.
It’s okay to not always love being a Stay-at-Home mom
Surely, for some women, being a stay-at-home mother is an entirely magnificent, totally blissful, always fulfilling, happily-ever-after dream come true.
I’m not one of those women—and that’s okay.
I know I’m not alone in having mixed feelings about having left the traditional, paid workforce to be a 24/7 at-home parent to my children. From time to time, most all women doing the job (and stay-at-home motherhood is a job) struggle with the challenges of this kind of in-the-trenches motherhood.
Round-the-clock parenting often has as many downs as ups. The constant demands that come from being the sole adult charged with the care of little minds and bodies (and the surroundings in which they exist) involves a daily routine that many stay-at-home moms need both skill and fortitude to survive. As with any job, we have moments of feeling overwhelmed, overworked, unappreciated, and under-compensated. And all that’s before the 9 am start of the traditional workday.
For a woman who, before motherhood, had a job she enjoyed, experienced career success, lived independently, and had an active social life, setting all that aside for stay-at-home motherhood can be a mixed blessing. It’s wonderful for a mother to be able to devote herself to the full-time care of her family—without the distractions, stresses, and demands of an office or workplace. It’s wonderful for a child to be raised under the constant care of a parent instead of a nanny, sitter, au pair, daycare staff, or afterschool program—or any of the other childcare solutions that parents need to piece together in order to earn an income. In a nation where two incomes are often essential to a family’s well-being, and where single parents need a job in order to pay and keep up with the bills, stay-at-home mothers are often told how lucky they are “not to work.”
I know I’m lucky that my family has been able to live securely for several years with only one steady income, but being a stay-at-home mother is nothing but work! The surprise for many women who spend their days caring for children without end is that they work as many, if not more, hours than they did at a “real” job. The initial relief from the pressures of paid employment are often replaced by the demands of our stay-at-home reality.
But putting aside professional skills and independence to fill sippy cups and push swings can be tough on a woman’s sense of self. And although a stay-at-home mother is never without something to do, the day can drag, and entire weeks can feel empty of adult company or personal fulfillment. Then, in the rare instance you get to mingle among grown-ups without kids clinging to you, someone asks you what you do, and you struggle between saying, “I’m a stay-at-home mom . . .” or “Well, I used to be . . .” or some tortured combination thereof. It can make you want to cry.
My advice. Don’t sugarcoat, sentimentalize, or reduce to slapstick the realities of stay-at-home motherhood.
For those of us who have good days and bad, who sometimes absolutely adore and appreciate being home with our kids and sometimes can’t stand it, parenting books and magazine articles in which the author and interviewees gush about their love of being a mom and surrendering to motherhood just don’t jibe with all the realities. Ditto those who joke about the sleepless nights and messy minivans and days without showering—but, alas, each quip or complaint is couched by an “I wouldn’t change it for the world” sentiment. For the woman whose every mothering moment isn’t a greeting card moment, such rosy pictures can actually be demoralizing: “I don’t like playing peek-a-boo and going to the park every day. I don’t like being at the beck and call of someone else’s moods and needs. Sometimes I don’t want to be around my kids. I must be a terrible mom.”
You’re not a terrible mom. You’re a typical mom.
So hang in there! Even though you may be alone in your house right now with [fill in the applicable number] child(ren) crying, hanging on you, and demanding your immediate attention, you are not alone. Even though you may feel you’re flying a solo mission, you aren’t, especially when it comes to your conflicted feelings:
10 am: “I’m so happy I’m home!”
11 am: “What was I thinking?
Noon: “Being a stay-at-home mother is [fill in an adjective here]!”
It’s okay to not always love being a stay-at-home mom. Women often fear that admitting as much is tantamount to saying to the world and themselves that we regret not being part of the paid workforce.
The reality is, sometimes, some of us do regret leaving careers, or wish for something more. That’s normal. That’s healthy. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our children. It doesn’t mean we’d make a different choice if we had a do-over. It definitely doesn’t mean we’re bad mothers, or that we’re not doing a good job. Some days at work are wonderful. Some days are nightmares. Few people love their job every minute of the day. The same goes for the job of being a stay-at-home mom.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
In the blink of an eye....
In what seems like a blink of an eye, our precious child turned one year on the 10th of August. On her birthday, I fought back tears of joy as I looked at the incredible and miraculous child that not only can crawl but can stand before me.
Why is she so incredible and a miracle you ask? Our answer would be simply because the odds at her birth were not in her favor. She had a Grade IV brain bleed 4 days after she was born. This bleed was serious and affected her quality of life. The first two months of her life were spent hooked up to monitors of all sorts, having oxygen supplied, having a blood transfusion and being on a ventilator with 24 hour a day nursing care. She was so tiny (3 pounds and 11 ounces). You could hold her in one hand and as her grandparents have said many times "she was as light as a feather". Despite all of these issues, she was a beautiful newborn.
The instant we met her, we fell in love with her. There was no turning back ,for this child was our gift from God. I remember not even being able to touch her the 1st time I saw her. I was scared I would hurt her but God gave Jason the strength that I didn't have and he asked the nurse how he could best touch her without putting her in pain. What was amazing was how she responded to his touch instantly and without hesitation. From that moment, we knew that she was definitely meant to be our child. The fact that another woman gave birth to her made no difference to us because she had grown in our hearts for exactly 3 years and 8 months.
I'm not going to say that this last year has been easy because it hasn't. We have had to guard our baby against illness, have her evaluated by specialists, have enrolled her in Physical Therapy and have probably filed more paper than most people will ever see in their lifetimes. On top of all this, we had to adjust to being parents after 12 years of life with just the two of us and our precious pup. All of this was not easy, but in hindsight, we can see how rewarding it has been. I don't regret being home with our daughter for the 1st year of her life at all. I have seen her grow from a teeny, tiny baby to a determined and brilliant crawler/toddler. It has been an exciting year and we can't wait to see what her 2nd year of life will bring.Many people say that she has thrived because of the excellent care that we've given her. That may be part of why but I beg to differ. I think that God gave her a fighting spirit that has enabled her to overcome the odds.
How would I describe our child to someone who doesn't know and love her like we do? I guess I would say that she is just like her Mommy and Daddy. She is stubborn, caring, determined, has the best smile and laugh and is a lot of fun ! Oddly enough, she even resembles us. Some days I look at her and I completely see my husband and other days I see a mini-me. She has the biggest, bluest eyes that I have ever seen ! We couldn't have made a better child for us if we could have done it ourselves.
As we prepare for another meeting with our daughter's birth family, the realization that this child is truly ours has hit home with even more intensity than before. Maybe it's because she is a year old and we feel that she may be more aware that these "strangers" are a part of her family too? I'm not really sure why the intensity is there but it is. We have told our daughter her story many times. At this point,however, she has no understanding of what it means to be "adopted". It is our hope that we have begun to sow the seeds of her personal garden of life. We know that the real challenges of our open adoption arrangement are yet to come.
Why is she so incredible and a miracle you ask? Our answer would be simply because the odds at her birth were not in her favor. She had a Grade IV brain bleed 4 days after she was born. This bleed was serious and affected her quality of life. The first two months of her life were spent hooked up to monitors of all sorts, having oxygen supplied, having a blood transfusion and being on a ventilator with 24 hour a day nursing care. She was so tiny (3 pounds and 11 ounces). You could hold her in one hand and as her grandparents have said many times "she was as light as a feather". Despite all of these issues, she was a beautiful newborn.
The instant we met her, we fell in love with her. There was no turning back ,for this child was our gift from God. I remember not even being able to touch her the 1st time I saw her. I was scared I would hurt her but God gave Jason the strength that I didn't have and he asked the nurse how he could best touch her without putting her in pain. What was amazing was how she responded to his touch instantly and without hesitation. From that moment, we knew that she was definitely meant to be our child. The fact that another woman gave birth to her made no difference to us because she had grown in our hearts for exactly 3 years and 8 months.
I'm not going to say that this last year has been easy because it hasn't. We have had to guard our baby against illness, have her evaluated by specialists, have enrolled her in Physical Therapy and have probably filed more paper than most people will ever see in their lifetimes. On top of all this, we had to adjust to being parents after 12 years of life with just the two of us and our precious pup. All of this was not easy, but in hindsight, we can see how rewarding it has been. I don't regret being home with our daughter for the 1st year of her life at all. I have seen her grow from a teeny, tiny baby to a determined and brilliant crawler/toddler. It has been an exciting year and we can't wait to see what her 2nd year of life will bring.Many people say that she has thrived because of the excellent care that we've given her. That may be part of why but I beg to differ. I think that God gave her a fighting spirit that has enabled her to overcome the odds.
How would I describe our child to someone who doesn't know and love her like we do? I guess I would say that she is just like her Mommy and Daddy. She is stubborn, caring, determined, has the best smile and laugh and is a lot of fun ! Oddly enough, she even resembles us. Some days I look at her and I completely see my husband and other days I see a mini-me. She has the biggest, bluest eyes that I have ever seen ! We couldn't have made a better child for us if we could have done it ourselves.
As we prepare for another meeting with our daughter's birth family, the realization that this child is truly ours has hit home with even more intensity than before. Maybe it's because she is a year old and we feel that she may be more aware that these "strangers" are a part of her family too? I'm not really sure why the intensity is there but it is. We have told our daughter her story many times. At this point,however, she has no understanding of what it means to be "adopted". It is our hope that we have begun to sow the seeds of her personal garden of life. We know that the real challenges of our open adoption arrangement are yet to come.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Of outlet covers and baby gates...
Well, let me catch you up with what's been happening around here. Our precious daughter is now on the verge of crawling and walking ! Despite how exciting this is, it is also a bit scary for us. You see, having been married 13 years without any children (except a fur baby), we are completely clueless about baby proofing our home.
As it stands right now, we have a play yard to confine our precious bundle and have covered outlets, shortened cords,locked cabinets, disassembled the DVD bookcase and moved anything that could possibly tumble when pulled by a curious 10 (almost 11 ) month old. Yet, we are still not completely "proofed". How can this be?
I guess it's because we do not truly have an idea of exactly what little Miss will get into while she is venturing across the floor. We know that she is attracted to the fireplace. So, that means a barrier will go up around it. We also have a huge entryway to our Great Room that we will need to gate as well. What we are trying to figure out is whether or not she will attempt to touch things that we haven't thought of yet. My guess is: more than likely.
We are thrilled that she is so curious about the world around her. I just hope we survive this stage of her development ! Wish us luck :-).
Until we meet again....hugs !
As it stands right now, we have a play yard to confine our precious bundle and have covered outlets, shortened cords,locked cabinets, disassembled the DVD bookcase and moved anything that could possibly tumble when pulled by a curious 10 (almost 11 ) month old. Yet, we are still not completely "proofed". How can this be?
I guess it's because we do not truly have an idea of exactly what little Miss will get into while she is venturing across the floor. We know that she is attracted to the fireplace. So, that means a barrier will go up around it. We also have a huge entryway to our Great Room that we will need to gate as well. What we are trying to figure out is whether or not she will attempt to touch things that we haven't thought of yet. My guess is: more than likely.
We are thrilled that she is so curious about the world around her. I just hope we survive this stage of her development ! Wish us luck :-).
Until we meet again....hugs !
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Walking the tight rope....
Lately, I have the great desire to be working outside of the home again. I miss my career as a Teacher but know if I went back to work full-time I would miss my precious daughter even more. So, I think what I want to do is find a part-time job in the Fall. This would enable me to be here for her firsts--crawling, walking, talking and whatever else comes our way. So, this is where the dilemma comes in.... how do I balance being on the tight rope? How can I be a great part-time working Mom and be a great Mom to my baby too?
I've never had to balance this much responsibility before and don't have a clue what I will do for my baby's care while I am at work. We have a wonderful babysitter right now that I would love to have her here while I work. The problem is that I am not sure that she will be able to do this because she will more than likely have a full load of classes in the Fall. If she can't, I am considering putting the kiddo in a day care program at our church. I am not thrilled at the prospect of putting my precious bundle in a daycare center. Maybe it's because I worked in one and know that more than likely, my child would spend most of her time being sick??? All of this is, of course, pure speculation at this point in time. I may end up being home for another year if some income we are hoping to have coming in actually does.
I admit that there is a part of me that feels guilty that I have the desire to be working again after we have waited for this beautiful child for so long. There's also this part of me that also knows that I need the brain stimulation that work provides me with. I love teaching but am not sure what type of teaching job would have the type of schedule that I want/need right now. Tutoring would be something I would still love to do. I just wish I could do more of it during the earlier part of the day! What's most important to me, is the flexibility to still have quality time with our daughter. So, again I ask: How do I do this without driving myself crazy?
Even though being a parent is the most amazing and rewarding experience I have ever had, I do want to have another identity separate from "Mom". When we found out we were going to be parents, we were elated beyond belief (and still are) but I also found that I became depressed because I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I have ALWAYS worked outside of our home. It's what I have been accustomed to. What's a gal with so much energy to do?
I'd love to hear what others think about this dilemma. Meanwhile, I will continue to perform my current day job with pride. It is one of the most important and difficult jobs that I will ever have !
I've never had to balance this much responsibility before and don't have a clue what I will do for my baby's care while I am at work. We have a wonderful babysitter right now that I would love to have her here while I work. The problem is that I am not sure that she will be able to do this because she will more than likely have a full load of classes in the Fall. If she can't, I am considering putting the kiddo in a day care program at our church. I am not thrilled at the prospect of putting my precious bundle in a daycare center. Maybe it's because I worked in one and know that more than likely, my child would spend most of her time being sick??? All of this is, of course, pure speculation at this point in time. I may end up being home for another year if some income we are hoping to have coming in actually does.
I admit that there is a part of me that feels guilty that I have the desire to be working again after we have waited for this beautiful child for so long. There's also this part of me that also knows that I need the brain stimulation that work provides me with. I love teaching but am not sure what type of teaching job would have the type of schedule that I want/need right now. Tutoring would be something I would still love to do. I just wish I could do more of it during the earlier part of the day! What's most important to me, is the flexibility to still have quality time with our daughter. So, again I ask: How do I do this without driving myself crazy?
Even though being a parent is the most amazing and rewarding experience I have ever had, I do want to have another identity separate from "Mom". When we found out we were going to be parents, we were elated beyond belief (and still are) but I also found that I became depressed because I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I have ALWAYS worked outside of our home. It's what I have been accustomed to. What's a gal with so much energy to do?
I'd love to hear what others think about this dilemma. Meanwhile, I will continue to perform my current day job with pride. It is one of the most important and difficult jobs that I will ever have !
Friday, May 1, 2009
Of May and Mother's Day/All Wonen's Day.
You may wonder why I gave this post the above title. It's not just because I have a birthday and anniversary in May. This year it is primarily because I will finally be able to celebrate Mother's Day without tears in my eyes, without avoiding places with children and without staying away from anything that remotely resembles anything having to do with celebrating this "members" only holiday.
The past 8 years or so I have loathed Mother's Day. Before that time frame, I was fine with celebrating it with my own Mother, Grandmother and Sister-In-Law. Each time that we went to church on Mother's Day, the pastor would have all of the Mother's and Grandmother's stand to be recognized with a flower. With every woman that stood, I become increasingly emotional and angry. I wasn't angry at those who had children, I was angry that we didn't. I would ask myself over and over again. Why was it that we were not blessed with a child who would call me "Mom"?
I have many friends who will be asking this same question again this year. I can honestly say that any type of "parenting" holidays were the worst ones for us as we were going through our adoption journey. They are reminders of how long it's been since you became active, how long it might be before you are a parent and also of loss. It's hard to describe to someone that hasn't been there what this experience is like. I can only compare it to being in a vacuum while the rest of the world continues on as it normally would.
My husband's Aunt had a great idea many years ago. She was aggravated by the flower ceremony at her church and decided to talk with the pastor about the practice. Her idea was brilliant and pure genius. That idea was to celebrate "All Women's Day". . Although this day falls on the same day as Mother's Day, it is not just about the Moms and Grandmothers. I love this concept--just because it is Mother's Day, it does not mean that "All Women" shouldn't be celebrated. All of us are "Mothers" (whether we have children or not). The Teacher is a "Mom" to many children each and every day, the Nurse is a Mother to all of their patients and so on and so forth. I plan on continuing this celebration this year as I have done for the past 8--honoring all the important women in my life. I hope that you do the same :-) .
The past 8 years or so I have loathed Mother's Day. Before that time frame, I was fine with celebrating it with my own Mother, Grandmother and Sister-In-Law. Each time that we went to church on Mother's Day, the pastor would have all of the Mother's and Grandmother's stand to be recognized with a flower. With every woman that stood, I become increasingly emotional and angry. I wasn't angry at those who had children, I was angry that we didn't. I would ask myself over and over again. Why was it that we were not blessed with a child who would call me "Mom"?
I have many friends who will be asking this same question again this year. I can honestly say that any type of "parenting" holidays were the worst ones for us as we were going through our adoption journey. They are reminders of how long it's been since you became active, how long it might be before you are a parent and also of loss. It's hard to describe to someone that hasn't been there what this experience is like. I can only compare it to being in a vacuum while the rest of the world continues on as it normally would.
My husband's Aunt had a great idea many years ago. She was aggravated by the flower ceremony at her church and decided to talk with the pastor about the practice. Her idea was brilliant and pure genius. That idea was to celebrate "All Women's Day". . Although this day falls on the same day as Mother's Day, it is not just about the Moms and Grandmothers. I love this concept--just because it is Mother's Day, it does not mean that "All Women" shouldn't be celebrated. All of us are "Mothers" (whether we have children or not). The Teacher is a "Mom" to many children each and every day, the Nurse is a Mother to all of their patients and so on and so forth. I plan on continuing this celebration this year as I have done for the past 8--honoring all the important women in my life. I hope that you do the same :-) .
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