Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What makes a Mother?

This is the question I have been asking myself for quite awhile now. Are you a Mother simply because you gave birth? My answer is "absolutely not". I didn't give birth to my daughter in the traditional sense but I am definitely her Mother. How do I know this for sure? It's actually quite simple. I am the one who stays by her side when she is sick, that soothes the tears she sheds, who delights in every new discovery that she makes about herself and the world around her. I am the one who grew this child in my heart for 3 years and 8 months. I am the one (along with my husband) who experienced loss in order to receive the gift that is our daughter.

I dread the day when our daughter says the infamous words: "You're not my REAL Mother". I already have my reply to this question which is: "Do I look real to you?". I know that the day will come when my daughter will ask many questions about her birth family. Right now, we continue to make her adoption a part of her every day life. We talk about her birth family all of the time and explain to our daughter that the adoption plan that was made for her was done so because her birth mother loved her so much that she chose my husband and I to give her the life that she couldn't.

The beautiful thing about open adoption is that our daughter will know who her birth family is and will have contact with them throughout the years. There will be no secrecy. Our daughter will know that she was our chosen child and that she is special because she has more branches on her family tree than other kids do!

I am still learning what it takes to make a Mother. Will I ever know all the answers to this timeless question? Time will only tell...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What did I do with all of my time before I was a Mom???

This is the question I continually find myself asking. The last three weeks have been so busy that I haven't had time to figure out the answer to this perplexing question. Sure, I remember that I was working full-time, taking care of a sick dog, waiting for a child to find us, traveling and reading for pleasure whenever I could. What else did I do? These things all seem like they happened a very long time ago which I think means I am finally adjusting to my new lifestyle.

Being a Mom is a labor of love. It is one of the most demanding jobs that I have ever had. It's 24/7 and 365 days of the year. I'm not just a Daughter, Wife and Aunt anymore--I am a Mom and I wouldn't trade my new job for anything despite the exhausting requirements.

Our daughter is my top priority. When she cries, I want to cry with her. When she smiles, I can't help but smile with her. She has been assigned to my husband and I by God. There's no other explanation for how this child came to be in our lives and hearts !

When we were in the waiting period, I always thought that this adoption would never happen. It was taking too long, we had been hurt and were spending more and more money each month. I have to say that what everyone told me was true. I was told that the "right" baby would make its way to us and she has. This is very difficult to see when you are in the midst of the waiting period, when a potential adoption plan falls through or when everyone around you has children and/or new babies. God's plans are always greater than our own.

The reason I was never able to have biological children is now in our home. All 6 pounds and 5.5 ounces of her. It was meant to be that I become her Mother. I hope that I can give her all the answers that she needs.