Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Biting off more than I can chew....

A funny thing happened the other day...our daughter began to mouth every thing in sight and has become the ultimate drool factory. I looked at our precious daughter and realized that she is now "truly" teething. The pediatrician didn't believe me when we were there for her 6 month check-up that our daughter was indeed exhibiting the beginnings of this phase in her development. Because she was a preemie, the doctor assumed that she would go through phases at a different rate than other kids might. I am not finding this theory to be reliable or true of our precious bundle of joy at all. If anything, she is more advanced than she is given credit for (and no I'm not just saying this because she is our daughter).

As we await that 1st tooth to magically appear, I am trying to keep in perspective how painful this experience must be for our daughter. This is her 1st experience with pain and learning how to deal with it when it occurs. I already know how painful it is for Jason and I as we feel useless in soothing our own child. As a parent, you want to take your child's pain away and when you can't do that it becomes an endless cycle of frustration. We have tried teething rings, infant Tylenol drops, frozen wash cloths, etc. My latest attempt at helping to soothe the pain is to rub clove oil on her gums which seems to work. Last night, I also tried vanilla extract on those baby gums and found that if nothing else, she became more relaxed. All of these attempts has lead to what I am dealing with this week--sheer and utter FRUSTRATION...not with our daughter but with myself and my parenting.

Yesterday, I was at the end of my rope. I was feeling like I had bitten off more than I could chew. Between the teething, a new phone system, a birth family meeting on Saturday, lesson planning for the student that I tutor, trying to find the "perfect" birthday gift for my nephew and a dog that is ALWAYS getting into something, I thought I was going to go insane! Fortunately, relief came in the form of my ever so patient husband who walked in the door last night, took one look at me and said that he would cook dinner and take care of the baby.

I am such a perfectionist that it is hard for me to relax. So, naturally when the baby got up at 2:30 am because she was hungry, I joined my husband in the oasis that is her nursery. Why do I feel compelled to do this? I know that Jason can take care of her on his own without me. I guess it just comes with the territory of being a new Mom. Everyone tells me that I am a great Mom but I think it is harder for me to see what others do. I feel guilty when I leave the house for "me" time or to work. I also feel guilty when I feel frustrated by the new situations that I have been thrust into without any advanced training. What does this all mean in the grand scheme of things? More than likely, not much. Since this is our 1st child, I tend to be overly concerned with everything that happens with her. Some day, I will say that this time in her life went way too fast and I would do anything to have it back (okay maybe not the teething part.

Right now, I think I will break open that bottle of wine that my husband and MIL gave me which is "aptly" named "Mommy's Little Helper" and toast all that our daughter will be discovering once that 1st tooth comes in. It has to get easier, right?

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