Tuesday, March 24, 2009

One down, two to go......

On Saturday, we had our first visit with our daughter's birth family (on her mother's side only..her birth father did not choose to be a part of the visit). Other than some logistical errors, everything went pretty well. Well.....as well as can be expected in such an awkward situation. We did feel uncomfortable being with the family that gave us the best gift of our lives. How do you ever show someone your appreciation for this selfless act? We are still blown away by the fact that this has finally happened for us. It still seems like a dream in some ways.

Jason and I thought that we would be asked tons of questions about our daughter. We were wrong. In fact, very few questions were asked. We also thought that there would be tons of comparisons made between her and her biological family. That didn't happen either. They just really wanted to see that she was doing well (which she is), that we were taking good care of her and ourselves and wanted to hold her.

What is fascinating to us is that our daughter is truly "clueless" about this other family of hers (at this point at least). We're not sure when she will understand the other branches on her family tree but when she does, we will be able to have the answers to her questions readily available. We have already started the dialogue about how she joined our family. We never want her adoption to be a secret that she finds out about 20 years later. That just would not fair to her, us or her birth family.

Our daughter's birth mother seems to be doing well. I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind when she held her biological baby girl for the first time since October. We thought she would get emotional but she didn't. She is very laid back and quiet. She continues to be busy raising her son (who is our daughter's half brother). Our daughter was able to see him for the first time this weekend. They had a ball interacting with each other. He really wanted to hold her but unfortunately, he is too little to handle our squirmy baby! Our hope is that our daughter and her brother will continue to have a close relationship throughout their lives.

We have two more visits with the biological family this year. We think the next visit will take place in July. We know that the next visits will be easier now that the 1st one is over. Our hope is that the birth mother will come to the next visit with just her son (not her mother or sister) because we really want to have a chance for Hailey to interact with just her and her brother. Only time will tell what happens next.




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